Day 47: Three Gorges Cruise *Donald Trump Edition*

So they built this Three Gorges Dam to increase boat traffic and provide hydro-electric power for China.

But that’s a pretty crap deal. I could have gotten a better deal, ok? At least twelve times more boats. Have you ever seen my boat? It’s huge. The biggest. My boat wouldn’t fit in one of those transfer lock thingies.

These boats are slow, ok? They are slow. Believe me. These boats are pretty nice though. But there are too many people. Far too many people – if I ran these boats, I would have built a ticket office. The BIGGEST ticket office, and I’d make sure everyone that got on the boat had to pay extra for the ticket, to make the boat great again. It was kind of run down, not as nice as my hotels. You know, the best hotels are the ones I own. And I own the best boats, OK? You can’t rely on these people that run the boat to run it properly, only I can do it. Alone.

The people on the boat – all they want to do is sit and take selfies. God knows where they come from. Who knows? Do you know? I don’t, and I have a brain. The biggest brain. Who knows, they are probably drug dealers and rapists, OK? So we have to charge them more. More than we already do. To make the boat great again.

On the baot, I tried to fly my drone. You know, just as the Second Amendment says I’m free to do. But then these boat stewardesses, probably hired by I don’t know who – probably Crooked Hilary (LOCK HER UP), told me I wasn’t allowed to. Big government I hate that. Don’t you hate that? So they made me take my drone down. Soon they’re going to say you can’t own assault drones. Ridiculous.

We went along these Three Gorges, which are one of the best sites in China. I love China, who ever said I don’t love China? I just sold an apartment building in China. China loves Trump. Let’s make China great again. Greater than this Three Gorges Dam, OK?

All these new cities, they built them again when the Three Gorges Dam flooded them. But I would have built them better. Bigger. Make China Great Again.

#dumpthetrump

 

Screen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.36.55 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.37.18 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.37.35Screen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.38.04 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.38.53 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.39.17 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.39.30Screen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.39.49 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.40.16 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.40.43 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.41.00 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.41.42 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.41.55 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.42.20 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.42.41 copyScreen Shot 2016-09-05 at 15.42.52 copy

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s